Here at Raleigh Moms Blog, we believe in the strength and power of the #momtribe. We’re excited to join hands with The Flourish Market on Saturday, October 13th from 10:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. for a Mom’s Morning Out: Shop with Meaning event. Grab your mom-besties for a special morning out featuring shopping fall fun, raffles, personal styling, a gorgeous “Double V Ring in Rose Gold” giveaway for the first 20 attendees, a delicious spiked apple cider beverage, small bites and much more with 10% off all shopping sales to benefit an extraordinary adopting mom. Visit our Facebook Event Page to learn more and RSVP.
In honor of our Mom’s Morning Out: Shop with Meaning event, we’d like to introduce you to a local family that is sharing their hearts and adoption journey with us. If you’re a mama that has been through the adoption process or wondering how to get started or maybe you’re a friend ready to support someone in your #momtribe that is going through the journey. Take a moment to read The Paschal family’s inspirational and personal story below of their own adoption process.
An Adoption Journey told by The Paschal Family
We are John and Katie Paschal. We have a 3-year-old biological son, Samson and a 5-year-old Golden Retriever named Stevie. We live in Raleigh and love raising our little family here. We’ve always known that we wanted more than one child and spent time dreaming about who our children would be and how they would love one another. So, in 2016 we started to try for our second baby. We became pregnant within a few short months and were over the moon. A few weeks after finding out we were pregnant, we learned that we had miscarried. It was devastating, heartbreaking and really rocked us as a family. We then miscarried a second time. This brought us to our knees and made us consider our future and what would happen to all those dreams that we had.
Visits with doctors confirmed what we feared: becoming pregnant again would be almost impossible.
We knew this wasn’t the end of our journey, so we started to research our options. We confided in close friends and family, and we prayed about what to do next. Our hearts were opened to adoption and all the sudden we felt peace again.
We knew adoption was the way for us to complete our family.
We found a consultant to walk with us through this journey (we use Faithful Adoption Consultants). We went through the home study and all of the piles of paperwork/meetings/etc. that comes with being prepared to adopt a child. Finally, we became “live” — we were at the point in the adoption process where we could be matched with an Expectant Mother. We felt sure that we would be matched right away. It didn’t work out that way for us. It took 6 months for us to be matched. I actually found out that we were matched while sitting in a Starbucks. I sobbed so many happy tears while on that phone call that a sweet customer brought a handful of Starbuck’s napkins for me to cry into. It was a beautiful day.
The little baby girl we were matched with wasn’t due for several months, which gave us several months to pray over her, her mother, and her father. We were blown away by the excitement our friends and family had for us. It was so special to know that so many people cared and prayed for us and our future baby. Four weeks before the baby was due, we found out that the expectant mother had changed her mind. She would be keeping the little girl. Our match had failed.
That was two months ago, and the feelings are still quite raw, and emotions are high. We have so much love for the baby we had been matched with and her birth family and we still pray for them often. For us, it just means that we are back to playing the “waiting game”, hoping to be matched. We know that it could happen at any time, and I think we are finally feeling a sense of surrender. This road that we’ve walked hasn’t been pretty or perfect, but it has been ours and believe it or not we are grateful.
If there is one thing we know, beyond doubt, is that there is supposed to be another child at the dinner table with us. There is supposed to be another child waking us up all hours of the night. Another child whose laughs will fill our rooms and whose smile will fill our hearts. We cannot wait to meet our baby.
Thank you for letting us tell our story…
Ways to Support a Family who is in the Process of Adopting:
- Offer opportunities to listen without judgment. For many the adoption journey is uncharted territory and having an opportunity to talk about it openly is so appreciated.
- If requested, be a reference in their Home Study process. In addition to the many background checks, etc. there are typically reference letters required from friends and family.
- Celebrate the little milestones along the way. Whether it is deciding on an agency, or completing a background check, finishing the profile book or being matched it’s important to delight in those incredible accomplishments that puts the family that much closer to adoption.
- Learn appropriate adoption language. There is so much to learn for those that are new to adoption, and being respectful to all involved in this process is so important.
- Finally, it can be hard to know what to say to or do for a family in the adoption process, but simple words of support and encouragement, along with prayers, make all the difference in the world.