I used to be a sanctimommy. There I said it. Before you throw stones at me, let me tell you now, I’m sorry. I’ve seen the error of my ways. My second child has thrown me for a loop and I now know that I had it all wrong.
You see, my first baby was a dream. I feel like he was a total gift from heaven in so many ways. Years of battling infertility, a pregnancy that doesn’t make any sense medically, but a dream come true. I loved being pregnant and being a mom came naturally to me. My first born was an amazing sleeper, he was never sick and for the most part was a happy baby. I like to describe him as easy. He played by the rules before he knew what they were. And me? I was prepared. My diaper bag was always stocked. I was always three steps ahead. Homemade baby food, cloth diapers, dinner on the table, clean house, you name it. I had it all figured out.
So why didn’t you? Why couldn’t you get it together? What was so hard about parenting that you were struggling? Of course I never voiced these thoughts. I kept them in my judgemental brain. Yes, I was judging you. I thought I was better. My superiority complex goes way back to my cheerleader days. My husband likes to remind me, in a loving way of course, that deep down, I’m still that stuck up cheerleader from high school.
Fast forward five years. More infertility and an adoption story later, we have our second miracle. Like my first, he’s a dream. And in a lot of ways, he’s also such an easy baby. But truth be told, parenting two kids is a whole other ball game. I was not prepared for life with two. My second son doesn’t like to sleep. We’ve been to the doctor more times than I count. On the plus side, he’s the happiest baby I’ve ever met. Nothing can shake this kid. He’s always smiling, even in the emergency room. But this one keeps me on my toes. So sanctimommy no more, I have no clue what I’m doing! In the last eight months, I’ve let a lot of things go. We’ve eaten more take out than I can count, my house is livable, but not spotless. Pass the Beechnut jars because homemade baby food is a thing of the past. Sorry second kid, we’re in survival mode!
Survival mode. Big brother, grab your Kindle because screen time limits don’t apply! Whatever it takes to get through each day is what we’re doing. I have zero plans for the future, just for the next hour. We’ll worry about dinner when five o’clock gets here. Future plans for another baby? Ha! I don’t know that I’ll survive parenting the two I have. Kudos to the mamas who are doing it with one, two, or ten kids because this is hard!
So to all the mamas out there that I silently judged, please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. Truly. I had no idea what I was talking about. You are an amazing mama! You are keeping your kids fed and loved and that’s what matters. And to all the mamas that have it together, I hope it stays that way for you. Just remember that we’re all in this together, doing the best we can to raise our kids in this crazy world.