It’s definitely a second guess moment. Perhaps I should have thought longer and harder about this. I just followed what I kept hearing people tell me…”You found a good one, Kim” they all said. And I did. So, therein lies the problem.
It happened in Day 4 of our business. I got the phone call that Tim had snapped his Achilles. There were tons of laughter in the background as he and the guys relived the sound and his face when it happened. In a step. In one step. That’s all it took. Shoot me now.
Tim’s surgery was a success and his recovery has begun. The surgeon was very surprised by the size of Tim’s calves, even describing them as “massive”. The ratio of that small tendon to those large calves was a recipe for disaster and that one simple step he took was the snapping conclusion of years of strain.
I feel horrible for him. He’s active and athletic and our lives are built around hardcore activities like Spartans and Ninja Comps. But, unfortunately, my mind is a little preoccupied with frustration than with sadness. Frustration that I chose a helpful husband. Seriously, what was I thinking?
I realize that sounds strange, but hear me out. I chose a partner in life that is 100% my other half. There is nothing in our lives that he isn’t willing to do to help me. He’s the husband that cleans bathrooms and shops at midnight if the grocery list couldn’t be tackled during the day. He’s the hubby that returns to the Facility in the middle of the night to finish cutting the edging of the hardwood floors because his artist background yields incredible results that his perfectionist personality is insistent on completing all on his own.
He’s the dad that gets up in the middle of the night to double check if Tylenol has lowered a fever or to help a more than half asleep little one to the bathroom in time. He’ll rush to their sides to wipe a tear or work with homework…even the math. Yeah. He’s THAT awesome.
I can’t possibly describe a more perfect match to me. Pure perfection as a husband, father, friend, co-owner…and the perfect disaster when he is struck down. Yup. When you lose your other half, you certainly aren’t whole. Tim can’t drive as it was his right foot. Stairs are an issue and he’s getting around with a scooter. So, carrying, holding or balancing things is a no-go. Yup, scream with me if you want!
Right now, I can feel the weight of the world on me as I pick up the pieces that he can’t. Those are a lot of pieces. When you are so used to someone being such a help, their absence is felt. 10fold.
This too shall pass. The wound will heal and he’ll be back at it. This recovery is long, though so I’m in the thick of it. Which is allowing me to ponder such thoughts as…
Why I did I choose such an awesome guy? If I just would have chosen a hubby that doesn’t help or isn’t around or could care less, I would be used to carrying all this weight!
But, I chose an incredible man that does incredible things to help his family. And boy do I see how much that really is. Think I should tell him?
I’ll just write him a note. And leave it at the top of the stairs. ;0)