Guest Post By: Laura S.
I knew holidays would be some of the most difficult days post-divorce. What I wasn’t prepared for, was how upsetting Father’s Day could be. Year after year this day approaches and with it comes emotions that are typically (and thankfully) very uncommon for me.
I have found myself on the days leading up to Fathers Day genuinely angry. Years have gone by but I can still get angry, mostly with myself and my ex-husband for not being able to make it work. It’s a day that reminds me that my kids don’t have their dad in their life like I “planned” and that makes me mad.
I parent, unassisted, 98% of the time. My ex is “around” but not “involved”. I resent not only him as you might expect but many of the good things, the privileges that I have worked so hard for. Because of these privileges we have days and weeks that are so full of life and activity that it’s almost impossible to do it alone – yet I do and I do it sometimes at the expense of quality time with my kids and time for myself.
I am a realist; I know the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. I also try to teach my children about all that they have to be grateful for. But Father’s day is one of those days where I have been genuinely jealous of family and friends as they celebrate together. I think this is mostly because Father’s Day celebrates all the
“traditional” qualities of dads – and those are the things I know my kids miss out on each day.
I acknowledge that this this is a little negative. But I’m sharing it because I know I can’t be the only woman who feels this way. There are so many Mom’s who feel like they are playing both roles which I know from experience can lead to all these emotions.
So, this year I am vowing to break the pattern and I hope others who may feel the same way will be empowered to do as well. I will not wake up on Sunday and entertain a single one of those emotions for even a second. Instead, I will sincerely say ‘Thank you’ to my children’s father. He may not be perfect, the relationship he has with them may not be perfect but it’s because of him that I have beautiful little people in my life who make every single day a day to be celebrated. There’s too much good for all the negativity.