Dear Mom with the new baby looking completely frazzled,
I see you there. I see that you’ve haven’t been sleeping. You may not have even showered. And now…your precious new baby is screaming at the top of their lungs in the middle of Target. I see you and I’m not judging you. I want to tell you and I’ve been where you are and it gets better. I want to tell you that you should not be embarrassed about your baby crying.
I want to tell you that I understand how lonely you might be right now. Motherhood can be this weird dichotomy where you are never alone, but you might just be more lonely than you ever thought possible. Your friends might be trying to give you some space because they understand how hard it is to be a new mom. Or maybe your friends aren’t there because they don’t have kids yet and they just don’t get it. Maybe your partner is suddenly working even more hours than before, because he’s worried about supporting your family. And you are lonely.
This story is very familiar to me. I was there. I was very lonely. (sometimes, I still am). But, I took a chance. I talked to that other frazzled mom in the baby section at Target. When we met again, a month or so later, I decided that the universe was trying to connect us. She quickly became my best friend. She is the best friend a girl could ask for. We needed each other. Maybe I got lucky. Maybe. But, I think you should give it a try. Even if this person doesn’t wind up being your new best friend, say hello. Share your kindness. Smile. I think you need to do this just as much as she needs to have someone say hello to her.
Motherhood can be very lonely. Whether it’s a new baby, a disgruntled toddler, or a tween trying to figure out where she fits in, YOU need a friend. In order to be a great mom, you need to take care of yourself. Share that kindness and it will feed your soul.